Lately I've been asked quite a bit if I like being pregnant.
I kinda always thought I would like carrying a child. And, I don't.
Nausea still shadows me daily so I have to be sure to eat every couple hours and carry snacks with me. Gorgeous thick hair and beautiful skin still evade me. I've never broken out as bad as I do now. At 27 weeks my ankles and feet are swollen beyond recognition. In fact, I feel like my body is bloated and big beyond recognition.(I drink about a gallon of water a day....still, said swollen ankles). Sleeping is difficult at night due to strange pains in even stranger areas of my body that I did not think could hurt. I cry without notice. I'm angry without notice. I'm stressed without notice.
And yesterday I said to myself: I've waited for this child all my life.
And I thought: Perhaps creation was much the same as it waited for its King; bloated, fat, hurting, sleep deprived, angry, emotional, stressed, hungry, and broken.
Still, the earth had waited for this moment all its life.
The moment that changed everything.
I wouldn't change how hard this is for anything, not for what I'm being given in return.
I've waited for this all of my life...
And in these days before Christmas, when we reflect and remember and wait again for the birth of Jesus, I find that this ravaged body of mine is waiting in more than one way for a return to wholeness.
I've been waiting for that, too, all of my life.