Thursday, August 16, 2007


It's gone.
I went home at lunch to meet a couple who wanted to look at my couch, and they bought it.
I said "you're taking it now?"
They said "yes."
"oh...I guess I didn't think it would be right away..."
They picked it up and carried it out and it's gone.
When they left, I sat down to listen to a message from Mary who had called when the couple was looking at the couch. I called her back and when I began to talk, my voice echoed in the empty room.
And I started to cry. I couldn't's sentimental, I didn't get to sit on it one last time...and it's gone. And, it's only a couch. But it represents so much.

Then, I read this on my friend Kristin's blog:
Gary Haugen of International Justice Mission, in his recent book wrote, "and charged his readers to be able to look the next generation in the eyes and tell them confidently, that we did not sit idly by, we gave up convenience and comfort to follow our loving God of justice into a world where suffering and oppression abounds, and did something."

And I cried some more. I cried because I'm a rich white American who cries when she sells her couch. I cried because I sold my couch and would never relax in its plush, deep loveliness again. I cried because everything is changing. I cried because I hope that I can look those I love in the eyes and say that I gave this up because I love Jesus, I believe in His Kingdom more than I believe in anything else in this world. I do it for those I love...I do it for those I have not yet met. I lay it all out...and my empty echo of an apartment.


Liz said...

I will cry when I sell my furniture too...

zary ora productions said...

gosh. you are making me cry. I feel like all year we have been waiting for this moment to arrive. Sarah and I prayed for you today.

Kristen said...

i'm proud of you.

McNamee's said...

Oh Sweet April...
I hear your pain. I totaly understand what you mean about a comfy couch. For 6 years I longed for a comfortable couch to curl up and rest upon. The soviet style of couches leave much to be desired. Conor and I opted for comfortable floor cushions, which did alright, but still I longed for a nice soft fiber-fill. Finally, about a year ago, some friends of ours gave us their couch. They had bought it a couple of years before and they knew how much I loved it. Maybe because I never got off it while we were in their home! Anyway, they were headed back to the states and they wanted us to have their couch! I think I remeber crying too! I couldn't believe we were getting a couch! I immediately had Conor toss our Russian "couch" and we sat on the floor for a month in eager anticipation. I still love curling up with a warm blanket and my Bible on my soft couch. But, I was very suprised about something. I realized that for 6 years I desired a place to "rest," while all the time God was giving me rest. Whenever I needed it, wherever I was, God gave me rest. He met me in the corner of the room on the concrete floor and in the kitchen on the stool that barely held together. He met me. He met me everywhere. I wasn't missing anything. He brought me to a point of not needing to set the stage before receiving from Him. Now, I find myself coming to Him at the Kitchen table or in the stiff upright rocking chair. I still love my couch, and I hope you have a wonderful place to rest very soon. I just wanted to encourage you with the simple fact that God will Give you rest. He is going to bless you abundatly. You are going to feel His touch and His warmth greatly as you continue to step out. He will meet you girl and I can't wait to hear about it! Koren

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